pieces of grace

Here’s the earth. Damn, that is a sweet…just kidding. This post will not expound upon the end of the world. It will, however, attempt to expound upon the end of the year. Not sure if I can fully articulate all my thoughts about the past year in a clear and coherent manner since a) I am currently pressed for time to post this before 2011 begins b) my mind is still a bit distracted from the movie I just watched (Ramona and Beezus. Don’t judge. It got 72% on Rotten Tomatoes. Plus it was an integral part of my childhood) and c) My eye is still inexplicably red, forcing me to wear glasses that are scratched and very pathetically impair my vision.

I’ve decided the most succinct way to do this is to go over my resolutions for this year (which, incidentally, were the first official resolutions I ever made) and review/evaluate my year based on those perhaps not-so-reliable criteria, which can be found here. Don’t want to read them? That’s cool, I wouldn’t want to either. Plus I’m just going to summarize them real quick here anyway.

1. Be nicer to people, especially those of the male variety.

I think I did okay on this one. Maybe could have done a little bit better, but I think I saw an overall improvement. And I’ve learned that sometimes some meanness is in order, either because they’re just asking for it or because their egos need to be taken down several notches. But yeah, I think I have some really good guy friends that I would say I’m decently nice to. Perhaps I should ask them how nice they think I am. Actually I’m not sure I want to know.

2. Pursue God relentlessly and fall deeper in love with Him.

Could’ve done a loot better on this one. I definitely did not finish Mere Christianity, primarily because I ran out of time and because that book requires so much thinking and I was lazy, but I think it’s time to start reading it again. I think I was in a bit of a spiritual desert this summer and semester because I abused the excuse of being “too busy” and instead spent all my summer nights watching movies or wasting time online until I got tired and went to sleep. But thankfully, God hasn’t stopped pursuing me. He’s answered my prayers in both the best and worst ways possible and has faithfully carried me through a semester of some heartache and sleepless nights. And most of all, He has given me so many good, good people, new communities, and new opportunities. I am grateful for His unending grace, and am excited to see what He has in store for me next year. It sure as hell won’t be easy, but knowing my God, it will be good.

3. Stay committed to my home church.

This has been especially hard this semester because I couldn’t go home every other week, let alone every week like I would have wanted. And there’s just so many things to think about, like what things I want to see change and how to actually build up a fellowship that people want to come back to. Obviously these things aren’t meant to be done by one person, but I just know that if I want to stay then I want things to change. With that being said, my lack of commitment to a church this semester showed me that it’s time to commit to one. And though I say I have, I’m still not sure. Will just have to keep praying and waiting, I guess, though I think at some point I will just have to settle.

4. Stop worrying about all this relationship nonsense.

Well, this was a hard one, no doubt. Boys are complicated. And if there are any boys reading this, I know what you’re thinking: Girls are complicated. That’s true too. The difference is that girls are actually complicated. Boys are only complicated because they are so simple: they are often completely oblivious and just think simply in general. There’s never really an in-between. And that’s frustrating. But really, as a single girl, I definitely feel a slight bit of despair whenever I see couples strolling on the street holding hands. Or cuddling annoyingly during Stats (really, too many people do this instead of paying attention). As I get closer, I notice that the girl is super cute and I just think, “Oh, what a cute couple.” Then I see the guy, and I feel a bit better about being single. No offense, but this has happened several times now. Anyway, bottom line: Berkeley boys need to step it up. Just kidding. REAL BOTTOM LINE: I need to be patient and wait upon the Lord.

5. Find the right balance between my passions and practicality.

I think I did pretty well on this one. Definitely getting closer to finding what I want to do with my life. This semester has been a huge blessing in that each activity I was involved with was something I felt was valuable and completely worth my time. No regrets.

6. Expand my social circle and not stay closed in my bubble.

Also not too shabby job on this last one. My social circle was definitely expanded in two major ways and will continue to be expanded next semester through my activities. I’m excited to make new friendsies and get in touch with old ones. Time to start thinking about who I need to catch up with and making some lunch dates.

Hokay, so. I didn’t beat the clock, but that was my year. And damn, it was a sweet year. Goodbye, 2010. Hello, 2011. You’re going to be a good, good year.

JB or JS’s. And those stand for Justin Beiber and Jaden Smith, respectively. Whilst shopping at Costco and watching Avatar on one of those huge TVs they’re always trying to sell, I noticed this on another smaller TV:

What’s this now? TWO prepubescent boys together in a music video with an overused title? I would rant a lot more but it’s probably not worth my time.

Six months is a long time to not have written anything creative, or even remotely interesting (by my standards, at least). I guess that can be taken as a sign of either general laziness or extreme business. Let’s go with the latter, for the sake of my pride. It’s really too bad, because I had at least three somewhat fascinating blog post ideas in mind. One of them, about papayas and their potential for breast enlargement in Asian girls, will probably have to be scrapped, due to a lack of scientific data and possibilities for offensiveness. The other one, about Channing Tatum and his annoying tendency to play uneducated, gangster teens growing up in the streets, should probably saved for a more convenient time when he makes yet another movie just like Fighting, Step Up, A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, and Coach Carter. Let’s hope that time doesn’t come too soon. The third, about ways to keep yourself warm in the winter without a heater in your house, or, perhaps more accurately, a mother who is unwilling to pay the exorbitant heater bills, will have to be reserved for the winter season. I am, however, hoping that in college, I won’t have the same problem.

Now onto important life updates. I graduated from high school. I suppose that’s a rather important milestone, but it doesn’t feel like it. Throughout the week leading up to grad, I kept saying it still hasn’t hit me. And now, a month and a college orientation later, it still hasn’t hit me. Maybe it’s because I know I will still be seeing my friends before the end of the summer. Or maybe it just won’t hit me until I’m actually moving onto campus. I don’t know. Perhaps it’s because I’m just so excited about the whole prospect of college; I’m somehow convinced that it will be way more fun than high school, although all signs are that it’s also going to be way more difficult than high school. If I were to put it on a scale, I would say high school was definitely better than elementary school (although anything would, really), but still a lot of unnecessary blood and tears. I’m just hoping college will just blow high school out of the water, and I have a feeling it will. Definitely, maybe.

Maybe it’s because I’m listening to music and lack the seemingly simple ability to multitask, but I have run out of things to say for now. But don’t worry. I have a particularly large rant on the Twilight movie that I want to write – sometime when I’m not busy being lazy.