Archive for April 9th, 2011
The Best of Times and the Worst of Times
I’ve always loved this phrase, probably because it just sounds so profound. I’ve mostly only thought about it in the context of A Tale of Two Cities and the awesomeness of Charles Dickens (yes, I am a nerd. But the book is a masterpiece, and you’re truly missing out if you haven’t read it). Recently, however, I’ve begun to think about this phrase as an accurate description of my walk with God. It’s been the best of times because absolutely nothing compares to the joy I have in the Lord, but it’s also the worst of times because it’s so freaking difficult. God doesn’t make things easy, that’s for sure. Ironically, back in January when I was reflecting on 2010 I wrote these two sentences: “I am grateful for His unending grace, and am excited to see what He has in store for me next year. It sure as hell won’t be easy, but knowing my God, it will be good.” Boy, did God take me at my word. It definitely hasn’t been easy. In fact, it’s been a rather crazy semester. Within the span of three months, I’ve been stretched in practically every way possible: emotionally, academically, spiritually, and professionally. But has it been good? Good can’t even begin to describe it. These three months have indeed given me some of the most painful times of my life, but the worst of these times is minuscule compared to the insurmountable joy, wisdom, peace, and understanding I have gained in the Lord.
In spite of all these blessings, I’ll admit I’ve often become frustrated. Like, really, God, why do you have to make it so difficult? Can’t you just make things easier for me? It’d be great if I didn’t have all this crap in my life. But what God has taught me these past couple of months is that being a Christian was never meant to be easy. In fact, the goal that you’re striving for is pretty much impossible. Think about it. You’re striving to be like Jesus, the God incarnate, to know and love Him the way He knows and loves you. But you’re human. By definition you have flaws. There is no way you’re going to be absolutely perfect, because you are not Jesus. Thankfully, Jesus doesn’t want us to be Him. He loves us in spite of our mistakes, our flaws, and our past. The only thing He wants is for us to choose to be with Him, not because He told us to or because it’s what we should do, but because the unconditional love, grace, and gifts He has in store for us are so much better than anything this world can offer.
People often view Christianity as a very legalistic faith tradition, one defined by rules and obligations: Go to church. Read the Bible every day. Pray. Worship. I’m not gonna lie. After many years of growing up in the church, these can definitely seem burdensome and just straight-up boring (particularly as a kid), but the truth is that the more I fall in love with Jesus and His kingdom, the more I want to do these things. They are not rules to me. Rather, they are means to one ridiculously beautiful end: being with God. I go to church to meet with God in fellowship with others. I read the Bible to understand Him more. I pray so I can talk to Him and listen to what He might have to say to me. I worship because I am in such awe of the things He is capable of and just want to praise Him – all day, errday. And in all these things, I find more and more FREEDOM. Because even if I mess up really badly, His grace remains and is more than enough. Because no matter what lies the world tells me about my appearance, I am beautiful as a daughter of the Lord. Because no matter what society tells me, success is not measured by my triumphs or achievements, but how humble I can be in laying down my life and letting God take control.
The aspiration of striving to be like Jesus is therefore no longer doomed to fail because I have the power of God behind me. Without Him, I am only human. With Him, I am made perfect through His grace and can do anything by His power. As a Christian, let me be the first to say that I have so many imperfections and weaknesses. I am guilty of pride, vanity, malice, and jealousy. I am inadequate, incompetent, and afraid. But “[His] grace is sufficient for [me], for [His] power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Life with God as my Father has indeed been the best of times and the worst of times. But these best of times completely outweigh and blow those worst of times out of the water. Every time I invite God to be fully present in a difficult situation, He more than redeems it. I’m sure there are much more difficult times ahead. But that just means there are even better things in store for me. God’s plans for me are far, far better than anything I could ever plan for myself, and experiencing His love and kingdom are far, far better than anything I will ever know (get the reference? Hehe. Sorry, couldn’t help myself).
