pieces of grace

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:5)

As I get to know myself more, I realize that I notice too much about others and not enough about myself in terms of negative characteristics. I critique others without critiquing myself, and I think this is something I am inclined to do because of my human nature to be prideful. I like to think that I’ve got it together, that I know things others don’t, when really it’s quite the opposite: there is brokenness within me that I do not even fully understand, and I am surrounded by people who are smarter, better, faster, and stronger than me. This has led me to think more about my own imperfections and how this affects the way I treat people sometimes, particularly in the past couple of days. So, in the wee hours of the morning when I am sleep deprived and yet cannot sleep (the irony is killing me), I composed a solid list of what happens to me and my interactions with others when I’m stressed. If you ever run into me like this, let me just say that I’m sorry and ask only for your love and forgiveness. And for all those other times where I genuinely piss people off, thank the good Lord that there is grace.

Well, after that long-winded explanation/justification/rationalization (as is tradition), here it is. This was written partly to entertain so enjoy:

Top 10 Signs that I Am Stressed

(aka I Hope You’ll Still Love Me When I’m Like This)

10. I am obnoxiously loud. More so than usual.

9. I am extremely awkward (again, more so than usual). This has resulted in several terrible first conversations when meeting new people. Case in point: that time at retreat where the second question I asked a freshman after meeting her was whether she played on the Quidditch team at Berkeley (she didn’t).

8. I am super sarcastic and/or mean. Particularly to guys. Probably because I can’t take it out on my girlfriends since 1) that would be wrong (not that taking it out on mah boyz is right or anything) and 2) they’re my girls. Enough said. Also, guys are usually more thick-skinned because they make fun of each other so much already.

7. I dance to almost anything and get shunned/made fun of/told to stop by my guy friends shortly thereafter.

6. I am very abrupt with you and interrupt conversations.

5. I talk really, really fast, and sound like I might be debating you even though the topic is not even remotely debatable.

4. I sing. This is really much more of a coping mechanism than anything else because I get calmer when I sing. Please bear with me and my less-than-satisfactory voice.

3. I start doing imitations of the “Can I have yo numbaa,” “Nail Salon,” and “Bon Qui Qui” comedy sketches and think I’m doing a brilliant job when really no one is laughing and is in fact cringing on my behalf.

2. I am outrageously bubbly/cheery and laugh at pretty much anything. So to ensure that you are actually funny, it would perhaps be wise of you to try your jokes on someone who is less stressed.

1. I can’t sleep and stay up writing ridiculous posts like this one to try to get tired.