A Close Shave
“Let me explain…No, there is too much. Let me sum up.”
- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride
My last SAT test this morning was commemorated by a power outage. That’s pretty much all you need to know. I suppose I could tell you more, like how I very nearly missed the test, on account of the fact that none of the alarm clocks in our house are battery-based. Or I could try to express the sense of urgency I felt when my mother woke me up and I glanced accusingly at the clock, only to see a blank screen. Perhaps it would be more insightful for you all to hear my belief that God saved me, performing a grand miracle through my father, who usually lacks a bit of common sense. I could explain to you the once-in-a-lifetime genius act that my father performed last night when he decided, by a sudden flash of divine wisdom, to set up an alarm on his watch just in case a power outage occurred. And maybe, just maybe, you’d be intrigued to hear that despite this most despairing of circumstances, I rejoiced silently as I brushed my teeth in the yellow gleam of a flashlight. I like to imagine that you’d want to hear about this particular hardship (a difficult task, indeed, as the darkness only added to the visually-impaired blur I am accustomed to seeing before I put on contacts). It is quite possible that you’d be interested in everything I have to say on this close shave. Maybe you thought that, for once, I wouldn’t be that long-winded and verbose – that I would be able to sum up. But I can’t.
