pieces of grace

and indeed I shall. For my English teacher has required me to try my hand at poetry creation for one of my journal entries, as part of AP Poetry this semester.

My parody of Shakespeare’s Sonnet #18:

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art sweatier and more disgusting:

Fetid smells do reach the rancid straws of hay

And summer’s lease hath all too long a date

Oftentimes too hot the fires of hell do whine

And I thank the Lord that his horrid hairs are finally trimmed;

And though sometimes the aberrations in your face decline

By chance or nature’s course, for the light of the sun has dimmed;

But thy relentless summer shall not fade

Nor lose possession of that beast thou ow’st

Nor shall life brag thou wand’rest in her shade

For your hideous face is enough to scare her away

So long as men can attempt to hold their noses when you walk by,

So long can I endure your presence, or at least I can try

Right, so it’s not exactly that original, but whatever – it’s a parody. I’m especially proud of those last two lines, though. I felt an obligation to make them somewhat as good as Shakespeare’s, whose rhymed couplets at the end never fail to impress me (for about 2 seconds, but nonetheless they impress me). and let me just put this out there: i would love to say this to one individual in particular; too bad I’m not allowed to. but I do dream of saying/doing something, like maybe while I’m performing my dance, one of my bobby pins will somehow detach itself from all the other crap in my hair and “accidentally” fly out, magically and perfectly hitting her square in the eye.

As I am now officially done with the SAT I forever (though unfortunately not done with other tests bearing that trademark), I thought I’d share some of the richest moments (I recently learned about the use of the word “rich” from my dear old brother) of my SAT escapades. so here we go.

I took the SAT twice, and luckily for me, both times provided amusing experiences.

The SAT Episode I: The Phantom Test

It was the first of October – a bright, sunny yet strangely discomforting morning, as it seemed to carry an aura of dread and failure (well, for me, anyway). I walked into that slightly familiar usually-filled-with-only-boys school that was now, for one of those few times, filled with various people of different genders (or at least they seemed to be). I walked steadily up to the List, the one that would determine which room I was destined to take the one test that would determine my life.

Alright, I’ll cut the crap.

Not surprisingly, my room was filled with Asians, and the proctor had to call out each name one by one. It took us quite a long time through get through all the Lee’s. When we were all settled, the proctor was just about to begin reading the instructions when the door burst open and this Chinese girl dashed in, highly out of breath and panting like there was no tomorrow.

Girl: “I’m SO sorry, *pant* but I got lost for like 45 minutes *pant* – I’ve never been here before. Is there ANY *pant* way I can still take the test?” (looks so desperate by this point that she’s going to cry. I’m wondering how exactly she got lost for 45 minutes)

Proctor: “Sure, we’re just about to get started. What’s your name? *Girl says her name* Alright, well just take a seat.”

Girl: THANK YOU SOO MUCH!!!

needless to say, everyone was highly amused.

The SAT Episode II: Attack of the Ignorant Asian Parents and Girls with Attitude

I was more nervous than last time, because I really did not study this time around, and it had been two months since I had last taken the SAT. I frantically prayed to God during breakfast and as I drove to the school that I would not fail and even, perhaps, get a 2400 (dare I dream?). As I once again examined the List, I noticed that there were even more Asians than the last time, and I vaguely wondered how this was possible. I settled into my room, and noticed that besides 3 Caucasians, 3 Hispanics/Mexicans, the rest were Asian, and most likely they were Chinese. And to make matters worse, there was a little boy right behind me who couldn’t be older than a sophomore. Before entering the classroom, I had noticed his parents hovering over him and asking questions to make sure their genius boy was ready to take the SAT and compete with people who were at least a year older than him (possibly even 3 years older, if this kid was sick enough to be a freshman).

I impatiently waited until the clock struck eight. Our proctor, a nice but seemingly inexperienced college student, began to read the instructions when in burst another person. I was glad to see that he was Caucasian, because our room was in dire need of diversity. The proctor decided to wait another 5 minutes in case another lucky fellow would arrive late. Just when she was about to start again, a black girl and her large mother burst in. Excellent, I thought to myself. We were getting more diverse by the minute. The crisis? The girl had forgotten her calculator, and she looked pissed beyond belief, as though the SAT was the spawn of Satan (which would be actually a very helpful fact to recognize). The following scene unfolded before everyone’s eyes.

Mother: “Excuse me, but she’s forgotten her calculator. Can she still take the test?”

Proctor: “Well, it’s advisable to use a calculator, but you CAN take the test without one, so a calculator isn’t absolutely necessary.” (We all knew she was lying, because no one was going to take the SAT without a calculator. Every single person in the room had one lying on their desk, and many had even brought a spare, or at least extra batteries.)

Mother: “Well, maybe I could get her one and bring it back. *looks to daughter* What do you think? Do you need one?” *daughter glares and does not answer*

Proctor: “You might not want to do that because the first section could be a math one.” (I was wondering if the Proctor had had any experience by this point, because everyone knows the first section is an essay that is 25 minutes long.)

Mother: “Alright, well…*looks at daughter again* Do you want one? I can get one for you. Do you need one?”

Daughter: *long pause* Then, “NO!”

Mother gives Daughter a “You’re behavior is unacceptable and we’re going to discuss this at home” Look and then left the room in a huff. The daughter remained in a seat she had sat down in temporarily.

Proctor: *to Daughter* “Sorry, but I’m going to have to move you to your seat. Is that okay?”

Daughter: *in an extremely pissed and irritated tone* “mmmhmmm”

The proctor semi-glared at the girl and then guided her to her seat, where she sat down angrily and glared at everyone in the room. I was tempted to give her a huge, cheery smile, but then decided against it.

When I finished at about 12:45, I left the room and was on my way to the parking lot when I noticed the parents of the little Chinese dude who had sat behind me during the test were back. They had their arms around him and were bombarding him with questions about how he thought the test was. As they were about to leave, I heard them greet another woman with an arm around HER little son who was probably also a sophomore.

Mom #1: *in Mandarin* “Hey, I think we took the wrong test! We should have taken the PSAT, huh?”

Mom #2: *also in Mandarin, which was awesome because I could understand them* “That’s right! No wonder the test was so long – 4 hours! I think the PSAT is only 2 hours long.”

So not only were their little boys geniuses, but these moms had also mistaken the SAT for the PSAT. They should probably get these things straight before they sign up to take the test.

And now for the New Year updates:

Unfortunately, I didn’t finish this entry in time to make it dated Jan. 1, 2008 – it would have made this entry extra-significant, as it is my first entry on this blog. But you can’t win them all.

I started out my new year with an Indiana Jones Marathon with my brother’s friends. Quite delicious, though I really didn’t have anyone to talk to. The last movie is without a doubt the best so far – I’m ready to see Indiana Jones 4 top the third. I haven’t made any New Year’s resolutions yet (they always end up not being fulfilled for me), but I guess this is what I want to accomplish this year:

1. Develop a better relationship with God

2. Better time management

3. Improve in debate and dancing

4. Be nicer to the people who annoy me because when people annoy me, my annoyed-ness is extremely apparent.

and that’s the end of my lameness for the time-being. Welcome to 2008.